I Wanna Be an Artist

Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House, said on 12 March, 2010, if Obama Care is passed, artists can quit their day jobs and not have to worry about health insurance. "Think of an economy where people could be an artist or a photographer or, eh, a writer without worrying about keeping their day job in order to have health insurance..."

I have a better idea, Mrs. Pelosi. Why don't the Democrats add a rider to the yet-to-seen health care bill, say, a minimum of $120,000 with COLA per year for all citizens and illegals. What's a few more trillions added here and there to the national debt? Think of the benefits.

No one is going to be on welfare, and everyone will have guaranteed income with health insurance from cradle to grave. Best of all, no one will have to work to earn a living anymore. Okay, the Treasury has to work 24/7. We need them to print more money. And of course, all state and federal agenices must continue to operate in a work-free society for the good of the people and the country.

Most important, the Democrats could well be running the three branches of the government as the Fourth Reich, for a thousand-year at least. Don't you think this is a better plan than just Obama care, Mrs. Pelosi?

I've always wanted to paint like Monet and take pictures throught the viewfinder of Ansel Adams. Obama Care and a life stipend would help me realize my dream as Claude Adams. I could hardly wait.

The Final Solution for Stopping Global Warming

I did some simple math and arrived at a solution for ending global warming.

Methodology:

Parameters (Al Gore, Barack Obama, and the Babel Tower of U.N. et al, are welcome to plug in their own numbers here):

≈1 gram exhaled CO2 per breath

≈14,440 breaths per person per day, or 31.84 lbs. CO2 exhaled per person per day

1 short ton = 2,000 lbs. (pounds)

As of February 4, 2010:
U.S. Population: 308,611,000 (4.5% of world population)
China Population: 1,335,640,000 (19.6% of world population)
India Population: 1,176,622,000 (17.2% of world population)

Calculation:

Comparison of Carbon Dioxide (CO2) Exhaled by the Populations in These Three Countries on Just One Day - February 4, 2010:

U.S.=308,611,000 pop. x 31.84 lbs. exhaled CO2/day = 9,826,174,240 lbs. CO2 per day, or   4,913,087   short tons of CO2 exhaled in the United States on February 4, 2010.

China=1,335,640,000 pop. x 31.84 lbs. exhaled CO2/day = 42,526,777,600 lbs. exhaled CO2/day, or   21,263,389   short tons of CO2 exhaled in China on February 4, 2010.

India=1,176,622,000 pop. x 31.84 lbs. exhaled CO2/day = 37,463,644,480 lbs. exhaled CO2/per day, or   18,731,824   short tons of CO2 exhaled in India on February 4, 2010.

Discussion:

Before I give you my solution to "global warming", I have five questions for the
two brilliant American Nobel Peace prize winners and the Babel Tower of U.N. climate experts:

1. Excluding and ignoring all ecosystems and cultural and infrastructural generated CO2, which of these countries exhales the least CO2 per day, and therefore, the least of the "offenders" for "killing" our planet with said gas?

2. Would not the Plant Kingdom benefit from the alleged excessive greenhouse effect CO2, thus producing more Oxygen? How would this Oxygen Effect alter the global warming equation (if there is one)?

3. Using my or your CO2 exhaled per person per day parameters, do you think by legislating the U.S. and EU to go "green" would stop global warming (if it is true)?

4. If the two Nobel laureates and their junk science colleagues are prophetic in describing the global warming doomsday scenario (maybe pathetic is the better word), why aren't China and India buying in to the Kyoto or the Copenhagen accord?

5. Without China and India (37% of the world's population) in the accord, do you think the U.S. and EU can stop global warming however the methods (if it is true)?

The Final Solution:

Okay. So my unlearned astro-turf questions are beneath you people who are above me. Obviously. Just the same, here is my proposed solution to solving YOUR global warming problem.

There are two options to this solution.

Option 1: Nuke (neutron bomb) every country in the world, except China and India. That is, by killing every global warming doomsayer countries, the issue will go away.

Grüßen Sie zur neuen Weltordnung (and click your heels)!

Option 2: Nuke (neutron bomb) China and India. A very significant number of the CO2 exhalers and polluters will be eliminated, and therefore, global warming will be averted and earth will be saved.

Grüßen Sie zur neuen Weltordnung (and click your heels)!

Al Gore and Barack Obama each should receive his second Nobel Peace prize for just being who they are, and "Being There" (as in the 1979 flick starring Peter Sellers). The award ceremony would be held at an Option 1 or Option 2 country, accordingly.