John 11:25-26 (KJV)
Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life:he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live:
And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this?
- a L'envoi iPad 3 post
Zaggfolio augmented
FORMS ARE GOING FAST - SIGN UP TODAY!
Becoming Illegal
(Actual letter from an Oregon
resident sent to his Senator)
The Honorable Wyden
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC, 20510
Dear Senator Wyden,
As a native Oregonian and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.
My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for only three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.
Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.
Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.
Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me, given that I still have college age children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance
Your Loyal Constituent, (hoping to reach "illegal alien" status rather than just a bonafide citizen of the USA )
Dale B. Rilyeu
Lebanon, Or
Get your Forms (NOW)!!
Call your Internal Revenue Service at 1-800-289-1040
- a L'envoi iPad 3 post
My Dear Mrs. T:
I have to admit I was baffled when I received your email. The first thought flashed through my mind - who was this cousin of mine with a Norwegian surname? Then as the message unfurled before my eyes, only then I realized IT WAS YOU!
Thank you for your condolences for the death of my mother. Paul and your mother attended the funeral service on 2 March; it was they who recognized me. I couldn't even remember Paul was such a tall fellow. Their presence and condolences were much appreciated also.
Those halcyon days in eastern Oregon are fading fast with the passing of time. My only memory of you was on one evening we talked about Twain's "The Adventure of Tom Sawyer." This was at the time you and I stayed at grandfather's home, with me being the more permanent resident. I couldn't recall why you were there, much less what you looked like. You were there for cousin Winnie's wedding? What wedding? Sigh.
Our family circle is contracting. My maternal aunt is the last surviving member of grandfather Allen's side of the relations. Sadly, she has Alzheimer and does not recognize me anymore.
You and Paul are our family historians. Your genealogy research of our collective family tree is an invaluable task and must be preserved. I appreciate of your sharing some highlights of grandfather Allen and his exploits. Two things to which I had wanted answered but not knowing whom to ask. Perhaps you have the answers to: Was Allen in the Marines during World War II? And how did he acquire such beautiful penmanship?
I have been keeping a blog for a number of years. If curiosity gets the better of you, visit my blog at: lenvoi.blogspot.com
First day of spring, 2013; fancy that!
At Sunday worship this morning, the choir selection was "The Staff of Faith." As arranged by Craig Courtney, this 1850 setting by Thomas Lynch (1818-1871), blended with another hymnal favorite, "How Firm A Foundation."
The Staff of Faith
My faith, it is an oaken staff,
The traveler’s well loved aid;
My faith, it is a weapon stout,
The soldier’s trusty blade.
I’ll travel on, and still be stirred
By prayerful thought or holy Word;
By all my peril undeterred,
A soldier-pilgrim staid.
I have a guide, and in His steps
When travelers have trod,
If there beneath was flinty rock
Or yielding grassy sod,
They cared not, but with force unspent,
Umoved by pain, they onward went,
Unstayed by pleasures, still they bent
Their zealous course to God.
My faith, it is an oaken staff,
A guide to things unseen!
My faith, it is a trusty sword,
May falsehood find it keen!
Thy Spirit, Lord, to me impart,
O make me what Thou ever art,
Of patient and courageous heart,
As all true saints have been.
How firm a foundation, yet saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!
To you who for refuge to Jesus have fled!
My faith it is an oaken staff,
The traveler's well-loved aid.
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